Many of us have that dreaded Elf on The Shelf & cringe when it's time to take it out, simply because it's one more thing to add to the never ending to do list. And if you got away from not having one, I applaud you for not starting another crazed fad! I am now committed to the next 6 plus years of moving an elf & making more lies... I got suckered into the elf 4 years ago, when my son came home from school asking where his was! Ummm, we didn't have one! He kept talking about how great it was & all of the funny things this elf does. Out of curiosity, I googled it and there it was, a $29.95 freaky looking elf doll that flies to the North Pole and reports to Santa each night. So of course bought it & the elf made it's grand apperance in our home. The first year, I did exactly what you're supposed to and just moved it to a new shelf. That's what the book said to do, so that's what I did. My kids would come home with so n so's elf did this n that. Well.. Thanks to Pinterest and all the Pinterest crazed moms & all the crazy elf ideas, I guess mine was boring! Please note: Once your elf starts having crazy & wild nights, you are now committed to dedicating countless hours of Internet & Pinterest surfing for more ideas because once you do it, you're now locked in! So here's why my elf just sits on the shelf and I don't feel bad about it:
Yes, let's have a pillow fight and throw feathers all over the house! What!? Do you know how much feather inserts cost?!! NO, I will not be shredding my pillows for 3 minutes of entertainment, just so I can clean it all up. Draw on your picture frames with a marker and make funny faces, these are the EXACT things I tell my kids NOT to do, drawing on walls, furniture and picture frames is strictly forbidden!! Dump flour all over your kitchen counters and make elf angels! Ummm about no... So now another mess I'll have to clean up so my kids can laugh for all of 3 seconds and now want breakfast made on the counter full of flour and now I'll have to clean it up before my first sip of coffee. Make a tiny handmade fishing rod, sprinkle gold fish in your toilet and strategically place your elf over the toilet with his nifty fishing rod. I can see this now... Wake up in the middle of the night, forget the elf is on the toilet and now well, someone just rained on his parade, literally. No thanks to that. Throw TP all over the house, people TP is expensive, I will not waste a roll to just throw it around!! TP the tree and move all the ornaments around. I just spent 3 hours decorating it, yes... let me now destroy my tree and waste more TP. Ugh. Have your elf bake cookies, yea because when am I doing that so they don't know it was me? I am not baking 3am in the morning so the elf can bring his magical cookies from the North Pole the next morning then I have to tell them, well you can look at them but you're not eating cookies 6:30 in the morning for breakfast, I'm sure that'll go over really well, said no sane parent ever, and it'll be one more battle I'll have to fight so no thanks to that. Getting them dressed alone is a battle all in itself. Printing a million pictures of the elf and placing it in every frame in your house. No comment. Really?! Ink is expensive too and like who has time to change every photo to an elf then change it all back.. Again no thanks. The elf taking selfies with your sleeping kids then printing them out to show them in the morning, yea because like sneaking in their rooms playing Tooth Fairy to put money under their pillow isn't dangerous enough and putting your life at risk to slide a buck or two under their pillows, I'm definitely not lurking around holding the elf using a flash taking pics and risking them waking up! That's just insanity!!!
So don't feel bad if your elf doesn't have crazy and wild nights! Those destructive elves must be from the South Pole, ours are nice, little polite elves from the North Pole and Santa doesn't like naughty elves or kids! So when I nicely place my Elf on the shelf and go to bed for the night, remember there are parents out there ripping apart pillows, making elf fishing rods and throwing flour all over their kitchens and I'm snug and warm in my bed in my nice clean house. It is OK to just put your elf on the shelf!! And remember, have fun moving your elf to different shelves and every once in awhile if you're feeling crazy that night, just throw him in the tree, my kids love finding him just "hanging" out on my nicely placed ornaments😉
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